Hi all, When I was little kid I was so happy & free. Of course I would have bad days and the people around me were not always happy. I was abused sexually, mentally, physically, and emotionally by family members. Like many people I experienced depression, being ostracized, eating disorders, and low self-esteem. I cared so much about everything and everyone's opinion of me that I became a robot. A very angry, very fearful robot who tried to conform to be accepted and loved. Unfortunately, about a year ago a person who really loved me for me and wanted the best for me exited my life. I actually pushed them out way before they left. I became fearful and started thinking, "what if he finds another girl?" or "I'm not pretty or happy enough for him" etc. etc. All that worry and negative thinking became a self-fulfilling prophesy. Then I decided my life was so screwed up and "over" it was time to end it. So I tried to end it